December 30, 2012
A Friend You’ll Never See
I recently read an excerpt from the controversial number one bestseller Proof of Heaven: A Neurosurgeon’s Journey Into the Afterlife by Dr. Eben Alexander in Newsweek magazine. In it he describes, with a powerful self-confidence, a dramatic near-death experience that occurred after suffering from an extreme form of meningitis. Apparently, within hours of coming down with the infection, he fell into a coma and was hospitalized. After seven full days, just as he was about to be pronounced dead by his colleagues, he opened his eyes and explained that while his body had been asleep and his brain had appeared to be dead, he had been on the most extraordinary spiritual adventure.
He described in stunning detail the experience of a technicolor afterworld of infinite space illumined by the light of a thousands suns where, riding on the wings of a giant butterfly, he’d been welcomed by an angelic being in the form of a beautiful young woman with golden hair who affectionately made clear to him that he had always been loved, that everything was good, and that in this realm beyond the world, he could do no wrong.
I’ve had some truly amazing spiritual experiences in my 57 years of life. In fact, a couple were so powerful that they literally transformed me in the most profound and irrevocable ways. I have, many times over the years, touched depths of Being, dimensions of knowing, and moments of clarity and insight that have been and continue to be for me a powerful source of spiritual self-confidence. And in spite of this, while I find stories like the one I shared above both compelling and inspiring, they simultaneously stretch my rational mind’s willingness to embrace the unknown.
One of the last times I visited my own spiritual teacher, the first thing he said upon seeing me enter his room was, “I’m glad you have found a friend that you will never be able to see.” I had not seen him for many months and he recognized that because of the mystical experiences I had had, I now was imbued with a confidence and conviction in the metaphysical dimension of reality that I had not had before. The Buddha called this domain the “Unborn” or the “Uncreated.” The great religious traditions of the world have their own words to describe this deepest dimension of Reality itself. In Jewish mysticism this is called Ein Sof. In Sufism it is called ‘Adam. In Hinduism, Brahman. And in Christianity, I Am.
All of these names are metaphors for the perennial mystical insight through which human beings from all the world’s wisdom traditions have found spiritual emancipation and inner freedom. That is the direct cognition or knowing of that which is infinite. Beginningless, endless, ungraspable, and ultimately unknowable by the rational mind. Traditionally, this kind of experience is called “Gnosis.” Some modern thinkers have called it “trans-rational” knowing.
This was the friend I would never be able to see. The important part of this phrase, for me, is never be able to see . . . As a self-confessed mystic and spiritual teacher myself, I have dedicated my life to bearing witness to this invisible yet fundamental and primary dimension of reality. And yet whenever Spirit seems to speak to us or display itself in specific forms and discernable shapes like giant butterflies or beautiful women with long golden hair, or the often-talked-about communication from disembodied souls speaking to us from the other side of life and death, I find myself growing uncomfortable. I sometimes worry that in these ways we may be unintentionally obscuring the literally inconceivable nature of Spirit’s true face.
And at the very same time, I have to be honest—I also want to believe, word-for-word, these compelling and rapturous testimonies of freedom beyond corporeal existence. While I do hold the strong conviction that we are all part and parcel of a creative process that is literally infinite and that therefore this human lifetime is but a chapter in an ongoing adventure, I hesitate to be too sure of what that adventure will look like when this body falls away. As much as I’d like to know, I get a much deeper sense of spiritual self-confidence because I don’t have to.
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Andrew Cohen is a spiritual teacher, cultural visionary, founder of EnlightenNext, and the author of 
Dear Andrew,
I have just seen your comment about Dr. E Alexander’ experience’s. I have been a Buddhist meditator for over 40 years, and also teach etc,
I felt exactly the same way as you on reading his adventure. I have never seen anything other than a Buddha i meditated on. I feel He must be speaking of Astral levels, which are said to be beautiful, but not THAT. This is the difference between a Stream Winner, and a personality. Maybe these are Out of body , with reincarnational levels ?
Best wishes J T.
“A friend you’llnever see”: Wahhhhhoooooooo……………Andrew: thank you thank you thank you.
I feel embarrassed to say it but I have to say it: word for word I agree , it is word for word my experience, understanding, comprehension of Spirit. And of what we can do, over-do, and not do with IT. And of how I do not know. And how this Awe is the closest to Spirit, may-be?
I send you much love.
love this. Really brilliant, Andrew.
I embrace, with gratitude, what you’ve shared and expressed, just as I embrace, with gratitude, Dr. Alexander’s inspiration to share of his experience.
Both beautiful……both inspiring. I am humbled….reverent….grateful.
Continued-blessings in the New Year… ∞
Andrew, thanks for the clear explanation of the mystery beyond human existence. I’ve been a mystic and teacher as well with my share of wonderous, enlightening experiences, and I get frustrated when a doctor like this gets to get huge public attention when many of us have been exploring and sharing this wisdom ( what we know of it ) for many years. I don’t begrudge him his popularity but his experience is a small part of the larger story. I suppose if it gets people to start a spiritual path it may be serving humanity’s journey, but it sure isn’t close to what the spiritual traditions have been exploring for centuries.I suppose I’m jealous too. I published a book, ” Tears of Fire”, an Ebook on Amazon a few months ago and I’ve gotten two sales. It’s my journey into the mystery and I think it gives readers a much better explanation of what a spiritual journey entails. Anyway, I’m glad you got a work In.
Re out of body experience mentioned and your following comments: I to find it very hard to say “I have seen it” or something similar. I doubt if we can know the other side or our Friend until after our life. I stand in silence in front of the unknown.
I agree, and I think it’s important to recognize that mental and emotional forms are still that: forms. I believe that just as there is a physical world of form, there are actual, ‘real’ worlds of form that are subtle/etheric, emotional, and mental in nature. They exist similarly to the physical world, except for the fact that they are much more unlimited in nature, because things happen much more quickly (or instantaneously) than they do in the dense or ‘gross’ world.
That said, an understanding of formless reality I think is vital no matter which ‘universe’ of form we happen to find ourselves in.
I have often really appreciated your blogs, but on this one, since you didn’t read the book in its entirety, I think you have some inaccurate impressions of the book.
For one, one of the key experiences was Alexander’s experience of God/consciousness as something beyond physical description and what I was left with after reading the book was a heightened sense of the mystery and power of the universe.
Alexander has also commented that his near death journey was very rich experience and much of it was beyond words and the gift of it informs his now daily meditations (prior to his NDE, he wasn’t a meditator). As for having any certainty about what the adventure after death will look like, once Alexander wrote down his own experience, he then started researching other NDE’s and they are not all the same.
The other thing is that one of his key messages is that fundamentalism or the idea of one religion being right and other religions wrong is contrary to the true nature of God/consciousness, etc. Given the mass appeal of his book, this is such an important message for a wide audience to hear & something that can contribute to the evolution of consciousness on this planet.
Hi, I also have read E. Alexander’s book and I agree with what you say here. Whatever inspires and opens up people’s mind to the reality beyond the veil is a gift from the Divine. Just another path. Ken has often said that we use the language available to us to express state experiences that are beyond words. When I paint a beautiful picture or write a beautiful poem, the poem is just another mask of the divine, but it is still a mask. So E.Alexander’s experiences are just pointers to the inexpressible and unless people practice daily and long for a state experience that will bring them into unitive consciousness, this will elude them. At the same time, knowing that such state experiences are possible will invite them to continue to practice. Who does not want to experience of being loved absolutely without judgment. And how can we bring that love into the world if we have never experienced it.
Hello, Andrew, Evolutionaries
While I have had a few spiritual experiences myself -nothing, I am sure, as profound as many of you, I share with Andrew the discomfort with these highly corporeal and VISUAL experiences; I have heard of people who purport to see angels and so on, and I find myself invariably feeling uncomfortable, not to say skeptical. Being schooled in psychology I wonder how much if this is projecting what we expect/hope/believe.
I am not saying they ARE projections, I am aware that I have no way of knowing this, but it is what I tend to believe.
My own experiences, though not earthshaking, have tended to be more like what Jill Bolte Taylor describes in TED about her Stroke.
I concur with Bridget Hanley and encourage you to read the whole book, Andrew. I must even chide you a bit (given your stature in the consciousness community and your large following) for commenting as extensively as you did without having read it. The common ground most of us in this community share is our willingness to enter the Mystery. The only “controversial” aspect of Proof of Heaven and NDE’s in general, IMO, is the uniqueness of each episode and thus the difficulty in replicating the experience to the satisfaction of the old scientific method criteria. Ken Wilbur dealt with this issue beautifully in Eye of Spirit and you allude to it in your reference to “transrational” knowing, which, in Wilbur’s model, includes and transcends the physical, prerational and rational levels and modes. So Spirit’s communication/revelation wouldn’t necessarily be limited to the “never be able to see” realm. When you read Eben Alexander’s experience and description of the Core I think your discomfort or misgivings will relax. Eben Alexander’s work and being constitute a veritable bridge for the rational/scientific/traditional medical “thinkers” to the all-that-is in a most profound way, for which I am exceedingly grateful and stand in awe of.
No matter what people see and experience, whether in normal daily life or asleep dreaming, or through spiritual revelation, subtle or gross, visionary or cognitively, it is for us to make sense of, to understand, and pierce through the illusion of appearances to the meaning and purpose within the message received. It’s all about how we understand our experience. If we live with that friend that we’ll never see, the source of who we are, and we scrutinize everything we see, hear, know, and sense, we will enrich the very normal life we live here on earth. Heaven and Hell may come and go, but we derive nothing but information to help us understand and make sense out of our normal daily existence, as part of, and within the massive context of an evolving universe.
Extreme goodness, divine mercy, and heavenly salvation knows no bounds. Darkness as well have its unlimited domains. The range between light and dark is infinite and all shades fills the spectrum. Yet where do we stand? Maya is surely the greatest spectacle!
Perhaps this was to be his path and yours yours. It need not be a competition.